My Life

Literally.

I’m even more excited for Passion 2010.

What I won’t be doing when I turn 21.

I become a fully legal adult in two weeks. A friend of mine suggested that to celebrate, we go to a casino in Atlantic City.

I can’t go gambling in AC.

I’m not saying this because I’m making a big deal about gambling. I’m saying this because I can’t go gambling in AC, knowing that literally right outside of the casino doors are homeless people. People who could use this money much more than I could. People whom the world shuns and forgets. Some of my friends and I have gone down to AC the past couple of weeks to just serve the homeless people there–because we’re following the example of Christ. We’ve become friends with them. Today when we were in AC, a few of us stepped inside of a casino to go to the bathroom. As we walked out, I looked around. Obviously, we had to walk past people gambling. I don’t want to generalize, and I know that each person in that casino was there for a slightly different reason–their own reason. When we got closer to the doors, I could see outside–I could see people in great need, and yet I was in the midst of people with excess money, playing a game that they know that they probably won’t win, just because of the possibility of more money. It made me sick; it made me want to cry.

No casinos for me, especially in Atlantic City.

Exuma 2009

It has been a month since Exuma, and I am just now getting the chance to write this. SO much happened on the trip–this note can’t explain it all, the DVD of the trip can’t explain it all, photo albums can’t explain it all, and re-telling our experiences can’t explain it all. It truly is amazing how much can get done in a day, let alone a week, if God is at the beginning, center, and end of the day.

A lot of people have asked me which Exuma trip was better. I tell everyone the same answer–both. Both trips were good, but for entirely different reasons. Even though we worked in a different part of the island, the work that was done this year built on what was done last year. The work that was done last year built on the work from the previous year, and so on.

Follow-up letter sent to my sponsors

I’ve recently returned from serving God on the island of Exuma again. One verse that could be used to summarize our week in the Bahamas is 1 Thessalonians 5:24, which says, “The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” God worked through the team, and as a result, we accomplished much more than we could with our own strength. Our work for the week consisted of landscaping and painting an apartment complex and outreaches to children of the island. The apartment complex is intended to be used for people in dire need of housing. Unlike America, there are no shelters to go to—this complex of six units and others like it are the closest representation of a shelter. Landscaping was done around the whole complex, and five of the six units were painted inside and out (one unit was finished prior to this trip).
This year’s outreach to the children consisted of a game and movie night and also a simple carnival. We focused on just the kids in the village of Rolleville because that was where our worksite was. Our first outreach started with basketball, baseball, balloon animals, balloon swords, soccer, a lot of running around, and many hugs. When it was close to getting dark, we walked to a nearby pavilion for some simple “Sunday School” worship songs. After the singing, the kids watched a short puppet show. Following the puppet show, we went to the other side of the pavilion for movie time. Two movies were shown to the kids—the first was a short, funny movie featuring characters from the movie Madagascar. The second movie that was shown to the kids was the Jesus Movie for Children. This movie explained the story of Christ to the kids and gave them the chance to accept Christ afterwards. I don’t know an exact number, but many of the children did accept Christ into their hearts.
Our second outreach was a simple carnival night. To burn off some of the kids’ energy, we played parachute games with them. Once the games were over, we separated them into smaller groups to share the story of Christ with them. The team accomplished this by using wordless bracelets—bracelets with a gold bead, a dark bead, a red bead, a white bead, a green bead, and a second gold bead. Each bead represented part of the story of Christ. These bracelets enforced what the kids learned from the movie. Once every kid had a bracelet, it was time for the carnival. The carnival consisted of eight stations; each station had a simple game and prizes. To make the carnival feel more real, the kids were given tickets to play the games. Every child who played was a winner and won prizes. By the end of the night, pockets and hands were overly full of prizes. One of the kids kept saying, “These games are very fun!” To these kids who don’t have a lot, bringing these simple games to them was like taking them to an amusement park. Their laughter, smiles, and excitement mean that they won’t be forgetting that carnival anytime soon.
God’s faithfulness was most easily visible on our last full day in Exuma. It was our day off, having completed the apartment complex. The team went to say our last goodbyes to the kids that we had met earlier in the week. Before we left, it rained. This might not sound like a big event to people living in America where it rains a lot, but Exuma hadn’t received rain for a few months prior to this rain. There were a couple of quick showers on the trip prior to this day, but they were quite brief—and one was a sun shower. As soon as the rain started to taper off, we loaded into the van and headed off to see the kids. We took a route slightly different than our normal route to see a part of the island that we hadn’t visited on this trip yet. As we were driving, we saw a rainbow in the sky. Cameras were whipped out as everyone in the van talked excitedly. We were able to pull over next to a landmark called the Three Sisters (three giant rock formations in the ocean). As we pulled over and rushed out of the van, we were able to see the whole arc of the rainbow over the ocean. It was a spectacular sight to see, one that will not be easily forgotten.
In addition to this wonderful display of God’s faithfulness, the team members each drew closer to God throughout the week by means of their personal devotional times, group times of worship, group times of debriefing, times of walking around the town to simply share Jesus, prayer, and living in community with each other. Friendships were both forged and strengthened. Going on a missions trip is an experience that changes one’s life forever. It isn’t always easy, but in the end, everything is worth it. Team member Marcelle Farhat knows this to be true. “When you let go and let God, He will do great things. He’ll give you the words to say and the heart to do.” Francisco Maldonado echoed this, saying, “I learned that if you put everything in God’s hands, good things will happen.” Megan Howarth remarked, “Going to Exuma, Bahamas for our SCF mission trip was unforgettable. I experienced God’s presence in ways that I cannot describe. I love that I am able to experience God’s adventure of traveling to unchartered territories, seeing the world, spending intimate time with Him and drawing nearing to Him, cherishing God’s beauty all around us, losing myself in God, and loving up on people.” I might be speaking for the group on this, but I can’t imagine a better spring break. Beach time is nice, but changing lives is even better.

Thank you again for your support, love, and encouragement.

As for what God did specifically in my heart, I know that I don’t even know a fraction of everything that God did that week. I am still overwhelmed and in awe of it, a month later. If I absolutely HAD to summarize it, I would say that God is faithful. I saw with my own eyes many prayers being answered. I saw change from last year. I’ll probably be writing about this trip for awhile in my journal.

I have SO many memories from this trip. There were CRAZY God times, times I was simply in awe of God, times we had to trust God, times God surprised me. Our team came together like family, accomplished what we set out to do, grew in our friendships, and grew in Christ. We were slaves of Christ. The best part of working for God is that it doesn’t feel like work.

Last year, we asked God for greater things to come to Exuma–it was the cry of our hearts.
This year, we asked God for greater things. It was only mentioned out loud once, during prayer the first night we got there, but mentioned in hearts quietly throughout the trip.
This year, we were able to see that greater things have started to come to Exuma.
This year, we sought the name of Jesus Christ.

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems
Forgiven I’m alive restored set free
Your majesty resides inside of me
Forever I believe
Forever I believe
Arrested by Your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
Convicted by Your spirit led by Your word
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail

I know You gave
The word Your only Son for us
To know Your name
To live within the Saviour’s love
He took my place
Knowing He’d be crucified
And You loved
You loved a people undeserving

“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow You, You’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed You most You would leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not grow tired or weary,
And His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
And young men stumble and fall.
But those that hope in the Lord
Will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”

Exuma 09 Teaser

I’ll miss you, Pop-Pop

I’ve written briefly about death in here before, but it was never a close family member. I’ve always not been able to understand why people cry when a loved one dies, especially if the person who died accepted Christ into their hearts, which means they’re going to Heaven. Heaven is way better than here. They’re with JESUS. We shouldn’t cry about that.

That view of mine changed today.

Pop-Pop died unexpectedly today. He had had knee replacement surgery that went well, and was in the hospital recovering. We thought that with a little physical therapy, he would be better in no time.

I was in class today, and I wanted to know what time it was, so I grabbed my phone. I had two missed calls. I looked to see who they were from, since no one really ever calls me, especially during class. For a moment, I thought, maybe it was a wrong number or something. But one call was from my sister, and one was from my Mom. They also both left a voicemail. I knew that for both of them to leave a voicemail, SOMETHING had to be up. When I got out of class, I called Mom back, but she didn’t pick up right away (her phone was on silent). So I called my sister, and she said that Mom would call me back in a couple of minutes. I waited. While I was waiting, I had a feeling that it was something major, but I had peace about it. (Peace from God). Mom then called me and told me that he died. It had only happened a few minutes ago when we were talking.

As it turns out, he had a rare intestinal problem that caused his intestines to just stop working. It was described to me “as if his intestines had a heart attack.” I know that that is nowhere near correct, medically. So it was a shock but at the same time, part of me knew. I didn’t start crying until I hung up the phone and called my friend Caitie.

As I was crying, I was praying and also wrestling with the idea itself of crying. I knew for sure that Pop-Pop was in Heaven, and was happy for him. I knew that he was with Jesus because I remembered one Thanksgiving dinner. We were at their house, and were going around the table saying what we were thankful for. Pop-Pop said that he was thankful that everyone in the room was a Christian. Everyone includes him.
My flesh, my humanity, was what was sad. Sad because I won’t see him again until I get to Heaven. Sad because we weren’t expecting it. Sad because I’m not sure when the last time I saw him in person was. Sad because I let myself get caught up in family drama instead of looking past it in love and cherishing the time together.

I was able to stop crying for Bible study, and even laughed a few times (youtube videos + college kids=funny!). At the end, instead of taking prayer requests, Megan just prayed. After she was done, I said that I had a prayer request. I had come to the study, knowing there would be prayer, and I needed it. So I said it, and as soon as I did, the tears started to come again. Prayer and lots of hugs later, we left.

These emotions, this state of mind, etc. is something entirely new for me, and it is showing me how to trust God on a new level.

Heaven has one more person tonight.